Total Drama: Out of the Woods
by Anontomy323
Summary: After chris starts TDI my OC Olivia takes over the show ! more drama, death, and sex than ever before!(OOC, Mockfic/Parody. Made for my friends as a joke, filled with personal jokes. Purposely Misspelled.)
1. Prologue

_(Serious AN: Okay I'm losing energy for writing tdds so I'm writing this to get back at writing and to stretch my brain. This only exists because I want to see if I can write a good Crack story. Hope you enjoy…)_

AN: hi everybody my name is xxx2het2gayxxx but you can call me Terri! This is my very first total drama fanfic and I hope that you like it! My gal pal freshheartsgays helped edit this! Anyway this is a crossover and very NSFW! Don't like Don't read! Crossover with: Naruto, Dangan Ronpa, Harry Potter, Sailor Moon, My little Pony, Dragon Ball Z, and Real life! Please leave a fanmail and tell me who you want eliminated!1!

* * *

Chapter 1: Prologue

So like their was this ugly ass island in the middle of nowhere and some douche named chris m'clean decided this would be a good place for a tv show! so he and his guy pal(no homo) chef came by some people called fresh to make the tv show! They invited 25 teens to come to the island and fight for a gazillion dollars and 68 cents.

We open with chris m'clean "no we don't!" someone i didn't know said. She was tall, gorgeous, was skinny with big bobs, and looked like a female chris mclean!(AN: whatever tf that meens) she was even wearing his clothes, which didn't match her long mid back long hair and pale blue eyes like limp tears.

"sup my name's Olivia Princess Oni Otter Phobe Obtuse Clean! and im the new host!" (AN. What happened to chris…and chef!)

"I took care of them!" Olivia said.

~Coffesional~

Chris was half naked and halfway in the toilet. His legs stuck out flailing, his muffled screams could be heard. Deeper muffled yells came from deeper in the toilet : o

~End Coffesional~

"anyway it's time to introduce the contestants" Olivi said as a speedboat carrying teenagers came to the islend.

a short tubby girl with bad fashion sense un-came from the boat.

"Say hello to…um…Beatrice?" Olivia asked unsure.

"My name is actually Be-umf" Be was interrupted when a giant black teen with bad fashion sense was thrown on top of her. He was crying super duper hard cause he was a little bitch.

 **Be- The Who cares**

 **Deej- The Literal Child**

"And that was Deej! Now let's meet Gwen!" Olivai said.

A goth girl with REALLY bad fashion sense came on the dock, stomping over to Olivia.

"What the hell are you doing you Motherfuker!" Gwen yelled.

"Hosting." Olivia said.

"O." Gwen said cuz she was a dumbass.

 **Gwen- The Goff**

A frat boy/surfer dude uncame from the boat. He was really fukin hot, and had twenty abs. His hat was the size of a beach ball.

"Hi Geoff!" Olivia said.

"Sup bro!"

"I'm a girl" Olivia said.

"Cool bro!"

"Go to the back." Olivivia said.

 **Geoff: The Bro**

Then a hot girl with big boobs came on the dock, she had bad fashion sense…like seriously. What the hell is this poor girl wearing like brown vest? with a red undershirt? A orange skirt with blue bandana? With frickin' cowboy boots!? Only a moron with bad fashion sense would put that together!

"Hey!" lindsey said to the writer.

 **Lindsey: The Dumb Dumb Dummy Dum**

"Meenie!" Lindsay responded.

"Anyway, speaking of meanies here's Heather!" Oliviaa announced. Heather uncame from the boat with a mean look on her face. She also had long hair since this is an AU!

"Your fashion sense is ugly sweetie, maybe get some eyes uwu." She said meanly to Olivia.

 **Heather- The Big Meanie**

Heavy rock I mean PUNK! music came announcing the arrival of someone important! A punk boy that's apparently hot(?) with tiny legs and a crooked head(?)

He was a HARDCORE PUNK! Who don't play by no rules. He was Fresh's personal pick.

"Could you turn down your music please?" Be asked with her fingers plugged into her ears.

"Oh did I TRIGGER you? :)" Duncan asked.

 **Duncan- The Anti SJW**

Then a guy in a red jumpsuit jumped out from the boat but fell on his face cuz he was even more stupid than the blonde girl. "Hey!" Lindsey and Tyler yelled at the same time.

 **Tyler: The Kl#tz**

"Hi-ah!" A gangly nerd with glasses was about to speak when someone stabbed him with a dagger.

A guy with a giant head wearing robes with multicolored Nines on it, came running out from the boat. "Ninth! I'm the Ninth introduced Ha!" Trent said, before praying to the (yes I'm serious) Nine gods.

 **Harold: The Brony**

 **Trent: The *insert mentalist slur*/cultist**

A surfer girl in a blue hoodie came next, her eyes were red and she carried a surfboard bag and a blunt as big as Cody's dick (really big!1!)

"Hey Brig, you brought your surfboard with you?" Olivia asked.

"Nah, I just sold that for weed, heh." Brig said.

"You know you can't have that here right?" Olive asked.

"I'll share."

"Go take your place." Olivia said quickly.

 **Brig- The Pothead**

An Indian teen wearing to many layers was pushed onto the dock, he had an annoyed look on his face.

"I know this isn't right, I mean the nine thing was weird but Trent wasn't a cultist! And second of all, Bridgette hated all kinds of drugs, don't even get me started on the poor writing and-mmph!" Noah's spiel was interrupted when Olivia covered his mouth.

"Okay, Okay go to the back!" She said, before pushing him over to the group.

"Rude." He said.

 **Noah- The only logical one**

"'Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But chains and whips excite me"

(AN.I don't own the lyrics) a bodacious black Beauty sang. She had bland fashion sense, and an air of depravity around her.

"I'm here to fuck bitches and get money, and none of yall' are gonna' stop me!" She yelled.

 **Leshawna- The Depraved**

After her came two teen girls who uncame at the same time and spoke at the same time. They were dressed badly and the exact same. Though one was fat and the other was incredibly thin.

"Hello everybody." They said. "Hi you too, so are you ready for the game?" Olivia asked.

"Yes we hope to be the best. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Sorry, we love summer camps." They spoke in unison.

"Okay, you two are creepy, go join the others."

 **Katie and Sadie- The Best Psychic-linked Friends For Life**

Then some smooth jazz started playing, some rock hard studs(not in that way pervs) came covered in gardening ho's and female dogs. Clouds above them made it rain Benjamins(both the bills and people).

"Well if it isn't my two favorite porn stars, I especially loved your work on 'I'm not angry at having no prom date' and 'I am so not desperate'."

"Always glad to meet a fan!" Cody said biting his lip sexily.

"Fo' rizzle my brizzle. The 'Moose Macker' is in the building!" Ezekiel said cooly.

 **Ezekiel- The Main Character**

 **Cody- The Pimp**

Omnimous chants and screams of hell were heard. A boat came, literally on fire as the screams of the damned could be heard. A European girl stomped out, setting the her footprints on fire. The black markings could be seen. She spoke.

"Sorry, what?" Olivia said, Eva was confused.

"Sorry but I can't hear you over this omnimous chanting!" Olivia explained. Eva snapped her fingers.

"I said I came here to win." Eva said.

"Okay, cool. Go join the others." Olivia said.

"Fine." She responded before putting earpods in her ears.

 **Eva- The Devourer of Worlds**

A large and happy boy jumped off the boat and hollered. "What's the f**k up!" Owen screamed. "My chances of losing my hearing." Noah responded.

"Hello Owen how're you doing?" Olivia asked a little shaken up.

"F***ing Awesome!" He yelled.

"Please be quiet…" Be said.

"OKAY!" Owen said at a high volume.

 **Owen- The Loud Mouth**

"Hi!" Two people said before being pushed off the dock by a ginger girl wearing grass.

"Who cares about those two! It's my turn to be introduced!" She said. "Hi everybody it's your favorite Mom! You can call me the real life pinkie pie l-o-l!"

"…I want to die." Eva said.

"Anyway after dropping off my ki-oops I mean updating toomblr account I came here as fast as LeBron' Johnson! The kids like him right?" She went on. Courtney and Justion Dragged themselves out of the water without any help.

 **Courtney- The Loser Lol**

 **Justin- The Forgotten**

 **Izzy- The Real life Pinkie Pie**

Ah crap this is taking forever anyway three more people came, some Perv, a twitter obsessed weirdo, and NARUTO!

 **Alejandro- The Perv**

 **Sierra- The Social Media Ho**

 **Naruto- The Sex Bomb**

"OMG I just a retweet from Zayn Mallik's Doctor! I so have to brag this to my mom, she'll be jealous like so HARD!" Sierra said, rapidly tapping at her phone.

"I can tell you what's hard Amore'(I'm using an online translator Okay!)." Alejandro said.

"Who wants to have sex right now!" Naruto said.

"Wait until the camera's stop rolling! And aren't all of you sixteen?" Olivia stated.

"Like the writers care!" He responded.

"Anyway I'll put you in teams!" Olivia said.

"Be, Cody, Gwen, Heather, Justin, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsey, Noah, Owen, Trent, and Sierra you will be the screaming Bass!" she said. "And Brig, Courtney, Deej, Duncan, Ezekiel, Eva, Geoff, Harold, Katie, Sadie, and Tyler will be the Killer Gophers!"

"That's not how it went." Noah said. "Anyway meet me up the hill for the first challenge!" Olivia announced.

"Wait shouldn't we interact more, or get to know more about the confessional or eliminations?" Courtney asked.

"Lol no, challenge time." Olivia said.

Several people sighed.

An. I hope you guys like it! It took forever to make it! Now leave a comment or vote for who you want eliminated!

* * *

 _(Serious AN: Review and Vote! Use the reviews to cast your vote! This is fully interactive and the story can change depending on what happens! I hope your excited!)_


	2. Chapter 1: A SAD DAY FOR TD FANS

Hey everybody! Terri's and Freshheartsgays are back! We hope you like the chapter its filled with soooooooo much drama you'll die!

* * *

Previously on this ugly ass island.

Everyone showed up and the first challenge begins.

That's it.

"Alright bicthes it's challenge time! See this AWESOME HILL?" Oliver said pointing at the AWESOME HILL.

"What you gotta do is jump off it into the sharp rocks at the bottom and not die, whoever has the less dead campers wins!"

"But if we die we can't compete!" Courtney yelled.

"We'll edit you into the season postmortem." Olivvvia said.

"Of course why didn't I think of that." Noah said, rolling his eyes after taking a good sip of coffee.

"Wait where's Naruto?" Tyler said.

"He better not skip out on our hankey pankey practive at 2 o clock!" Leashawna said.

"Oh you crazy kids I'll go looking for him! : 3" Izzy cat-faced. "Who wanna come?"

Everyone ran off abandoning Justin with her.

"FUCK." Justin said quietly.

"Come on Justice let's go look for Naruto!" Izzy said, dragging Justin by hair #44.

The two contestants looked all over the island until they realized they got lost in the woods.

"Oh NOZE We're lost~ ;w;" Izzy said.

"Bitch we've been standing in the same place for forty minutes."

"Teleport!" Sierra said. Teleporting in front of the duo.

"Oh okay why not." Justin sighed.

"You gys I found Naruto cum with me 2 da spot."

"Yay lets go my fellow teenagers!" Izzy shouted.

"SIRI Teleport!" Sierra shouted.

"Okay TDhoe47." Siri said.

"We're here at the Nutshack." She said pointing at a shack that sells nuts.

"Why were here anyway!"

"OMG w8 tll u c him!" Sierra said dragging the red-haired and model to the back of the Nutshack.

Silence.

Silence so thick you could hear a pin drop.

Then a scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"My battery died. :( oh and Narutos dead 2."

Naruto was stabbed to the wall with a butcher knife as big as Cody's dick(Really big!). He was holding some weed and the numbers 134452796812 were written on the nutshack's walls.

"Y"ALL REMEMBER HOW THIS FANFIC IS A DANGANRONPA CROSSOVER? HEAD OVER TO THE NUTSHACK FOR SOME BAD NEWS!"

Everyone came.

The shouts of anger and amazement filled the air. One more prominent.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Leshawna scremmed. "We didn't even do the do yet :^(!"

"Alright bastards Naruto is dead and u gotta find out who killed him!" Oliivei said.

"But why! Why did he have to die!" Be said sadly. Deej cried some more raising the sea level in the process.

"Nobody cares Be! Now figure out who done it and come to the campfire place to catch the killer."

"Like...why not do it later? i'm too hungry for this." Brig said, smoking her bloody weedbong.

"YEAH ME TOO!" Owen shouted.

"See you later bastards!"

* * *

 **Investigation start!**

"What do we do?" Courtney asked. "We're teens we can't just do a random murder investigation!"

"Yeah we should just give up." Ezekiel said, tugging at his bloody sleeves.

"Yeah, I rather die than stay on this island any longer." Noah admitted.

"Yo look at these dank ass numbers!" Izzy said.

"But what does 134452796812 even mean?" Harold said, hugging his rainbow dash plushie.

"Maybe it's a secret code!" Lindsey said.

"What other evidence is there?" Justin said.

"It appears on of Naruto's fingers is bloody." Sadie and Katie said.

"I found a bottle of alcohol, a note from brig, a bloody white shirt, and a coffee cup in these bushes." Tyler said.

"The knife looks like one of Duncan's knives!" Courtney said.

"The fifty-eight amendment makes it legal for me to stab people you filthy feminist!" Duncan screamed. "You wanna take away my gun girlfriend?"

"Don't you mean your _girlfriend's gun_?" Be asked.

"No my gun girlfriend! Gunette!" He started making out with an ak-47 wearing a pink bow.

"That gun is rather...long" Alejandro said.

"Investigation's up! Come to the campfire to discuss the murder!"

"FUCK!" Everyone said.

Every came to the campfire and met Olivia for the voting ceremony.

"Okay to keep up with the danganronpa theme after every elimination I'll execute whoever gets the most votes."

"Wat." Said everyone.

"Wat." Said odfliadhfdfrwfd.

"Anyway, talk about Naruto and figure out who killed him." She said. "When you have your killer vote for them and they'll be given the execution of shame."

* * *

 **Trial Start!**

Cody: SO what do we talk aboot

Alejandro: This dic-

Sadie and Katie: Let us discuss what killed the ninja friend

 **Debate CircleJerk Start!**

Lindsey: What killed Naruto?

Harold: Was it hate?

Justin: The knife?

Geoff: Bro how about a lead pipe

DeeJ: ;;

Duncan: Well **I had nothing** to do with it!

 **Courtney: Hold up!**

Courtney: But Duncan, your knife collection is the only place where the killer could get the knife!

Duncan: NAH AH how about the kitchen?

Dakota: Sorry but we didn't have enough budget for a kitchen

Duncan: uuuuuuuuuuugh a knife-thru?

Brig: Knife Machine broke

Duncan: Well too bad I had an alibi! I was arguing politics with a twelve year old on tumblr!

Sierra: It's tru! His receipts ate online!

Tyler: Well is there anyone else who's suspishos?

Eva: Say something or I'll eat your soul!

Courtney: Hmm.

 **Pick a Suspect!**

. Be

. Deej

. Gwen

. Geoff

. Lindsey

. Heather

. Duncan

. Tyler

. Harold

. Trent

. **Brig**

. Noah

. Leshawna

. Katie and Sadie

. Ezekiel

. Cody

. Eva

. Owen

. Courtney

. Justin

. Izzy

. Alejandro

. Sierra

. Naruto - RIP

Courtney: I choose you! Brig why was your weedbong so bloody?

Brig: ... Wha-

Noah: I also noticed that..."Naruto" had some weed as well.

Brig: I..I

Geoff: Brig bro why u kill my other bro : (

Brig: I...NO I DID NOT

Brig: I DID NOT HIT HIM I DID NOT oh hi Chris

Chris: This is my show what are you doing here!

Olivia: ew.

Olivia bamfs Chris into orbit

Olivia: Carry on

 **Panic Talk Action bitches**

Brig: Show me proof!

Brig: How high are you?

Brig: Weak ass punks!

Brig: AHO AHO AHO AHO

Brig: If you think you're right then I want what you're smoking!

Brig: The evil bong is responsible for this!

Brig: There's nothing **to link me** to this case!

-Bushes

Note-Found

-In

 **Answer:** Note found in Bushes!

Courtney: HOLD THE FUCK UP!

Courtney: Harold you found something the bushes I recall? Something from Brig?

Harold: Yeah, it was a note it said: "Yo get me some good kush when you meet up with them lol - Brig"

Brig: Fine! But I didn't kill him! I just didn't want to share my weed!

Geoff: Fo shame bro : (

Leshawna: Well there goes our one lead now what do we do?

Justin: Wait Ezekiel! His sleeves are bloody!

Ezekiel: Oh sorry this is just ketchup #swaggy

Justin: Fuck!

Sadie and Katie: May we point out the mysterious numbers on the wall?

Sadie and Katie: The blood on the ninja's finger suggest he wrote it himself

Lindsey: Wait! Maybe it's upside down look!

Izzy: Oh mah gosh she's right! Upside down "134452796812" is "Noah killed me you fucking morons"

Courtney: Well some of my brain cells just died. Noah got anything on this bullshit

Noah: Well it's obviously wrong. God do I need a drink.

Heather: SHut up drunk! Hey didn't dorkzilla find some bad water in the bushes?

Harold: Yes I did! I also found a coffee cup like the one Noah drank from the beginning of the chapter.

 **~Flash Back~**

"Of course why didn't I think of that." Noah said, rolling his eyes after taking a good sip of coffee.

 **~Flash Back end~**

Courtney: You know what fine, I accuse you Noah let's get this shitshow ending already!

Noah: But...Brig hasn't even proven her innocence yet!

Brig: U Bitch!

Noah: And that's just circumstantial evidence, there's nothing to prove I'm connected!

Courtney: The white shirt! It was bloody and it had a name tag!

Noah: Even if my name was on the tag it doesn't prove anything because I don't wear white shirts! Prove I would wear it or else!

 **Panic talk action bitches!**

Noah: This is utterly ridiculous!

Noah: I wanna die!

Noah: You're as high as her!

Noah: How boring.

Noah: Enough!

Noah: I really hate this show.

Noah: How could I even **wear that shirt**?

-Many

layers-fucking

-too

 **Answer:** Too Many Fucking Layers

Courtney: HOLD THE FUCK UP! You wear so many layers it would make sense for you to wear an extra shirt under them all!

Noah: But... I

Olivia: Times up! Vote for who you think the killer is!

* * *

"Alright the votes are in! Noah was 100% guilty in killing Naruto!"

"But why?" Deej cried.

"Answer us or I'll kill you!" Eva threatened.

"I...just wanted this show to end. So I could leave this madness behind." Noah sighed.

Olivia the announced the bad news. "For the murder of Naruto Noah has been eliminated! Time for the execution!"

"But I...Fuck." Noah gritted his teeth. "I fucked up."

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!"

A bunch of small bears came up to Noah and dragged him away.

* * *

 **Punishment time!**

 _ **Textbook definition of Dead**_

Noah was strapped down to an uncomfortable leather red chair. Olivia brought in a tape player and put on a pair of earmuffs. Then the following was heard:

"The History of Canada: And introduction."

Noah was forced to hear the audio book of "The history of Canada."

After chapter 2 he looked pail. Then he looked very skinny after chapter 8.

Chapter nine, he lost all of his hair and teeth. At chapter 30 he was nothing more than a skeleton. Finally at chapter 54, nothin but dust remained in the leather red chair.

Olivia then went into the room and smashed the tape player and audiobook to pieces with a coconut

 **Noah: Executed**

* * *

AN: Aww ;; Noah's dead! He was my fav! Oh well what did you guys think? Come back next time for more Drama!


	3. Chapter 2: THE FUNC DONT STOP

AN: Now that Naruto and Noah are gone only 23 remain, who'll bite it next on TD: Out of the woods!

* * *

Last time, Naruto got killed as shit and Noah was executed.

Back to the ugly ass island, Olivia brings everyone to the outdoor stage they had to build in 20 seconds.

"Are we really having a challenge so soon after seeing two people die?" Courtney asked.

"Let's half a second to mourn our fallen. Second over challenge time." Olslsjlffb said.

"Okay here's the challenge. FIrst you must split into teams of three-four all with either matching colors or beginning letters in your name, and meet up at the beach. There you will all find a sea shell that's perfectly 30 centimeters in diameter and take it to the mountains. Once you get there find a bald eagle and teach it Spanish and train it to carry the seashell to a 300 year old tree during the blue moon. Before the blue moon you must venture deep into the caves of Wakawaka and find a rare breed of mushroom and moss, grind both things into a fine powder, and mix it with saliva from the northern fruit bat. With this mixture you must then cover one teammate in the stuff and have them rub their bodies on the tree. You must then chant the ancient words after translating the old, dead language they are written in. Got it?" Alivia said.

"...Is this island actually called Wakawaka?"

"Fine. Go into the woods and get me the Wakawaka Duck."

"That sounds easy enough let's go team!" Be said.

"That sounds easy enough lt's go team Eh." Ezekiel said.

Everyone cheered for Ezekiel, leaving Be alone dejected.

* * *

Izzy, Eva, Leshawna, and Sierra made their ways out of the woods(geddit) and couldn't find the wakwaka duck anywhere.

"If we don't find that duck soon I'll turn you all into ducks!" Eva shouted at the others.

"How the hell would that work?" Leshawna asked.

"I'm Shookled! Let's go fam I hear some dope ass quacking!" Izzy shrieked jumping into a bush.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR" Roared the Wakawaka Duck. Which was actually A featherless eagle the size of a bear, with tentacles, fifty-two eyes, raptor claws, and the ability to breath fire.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said everyone, even the people who weren't there.

They all ran back towards the camp screaming.

* * *

Meanwhile Gwen and Trent made their ways into a secluded part of the woods.

"Liek wtf why do we have to do this stupit challenge I wanna listen to ma mcr in piece!" Gwen complained sexily.

"It has been nine seconds since my last prayer!" Trent shouted to remind everyone that the number nine exists.

"Liek u wanna bone?" Gwen asked gothickally.

"Only if you **** nine times" Trent responded.

 **WARNING TOO MUCH SEXINESS FOR PITIFUL HUMAN MINDS**

Gwen and Trent seducingly peeled the layers off their onions, then Trent put his noodles into Gwen's bowls, before planting a seed into her pot, and going back for round 2.0

Trent put his niner in Gwen's u kno what repeatably. gryaradosing his hips like a jackhammer.

"OOOOOOOAAAAAAAaaaaaaaoooooooo" Gwen mewled or something.

They then blew up their galaxies. Before reentering the matrix.

 **END OF SEXINESS**

Gwen got un-undressed with trent who prayed nine more times because the writer won't let go of the nine thing.

"Wel atlist no1 died yet." Gwen said. Sadly because she liked death.

"SQUUUUUUUUAA#WWWWWWWWWWK" Roared the Wakawaka duck as it chased all the contestants through the woods Trent and gwen did the nasty in.

"Hold up!" Leshawna said, stopping in her tracks. "Y'all better not have did anything without me right here on gods green earth!"

"SWWWWWAQKKKS!" Roared the Wakawaka Duck.

Leshawna then kicked the monstrosity into orbit where it circled the earth twice, re-entered the hemisphere, and got burnt into some crispy duck on a platter. Which almost crushed Olidia.

"Don' interrupt me next time you stupid duck!"

"Congrats on leshawna's team or whoever the fuck you are. You won the challenge!" Olivia said.

The screaming bass cheered while the killer gophers cried like little bitches.

* * *

Everyone gathered at the campfire ceremony to see who would get kicked off.

"Okay since or practically all of you are useless you get to discuss who gets shafted by debate." Uvula explained. "Like a class trial but without murder."

 **(Not actually a) Class Trial start!**

Courtney: Honestly I wouldn't care if all of you died.

Eva: Wanna say that again?

(Eva shoot lasers from her eyes nearly incinerating Courtney)

Courtney: AH!

Ezekiel: Well I can't die! I'm the main character!

Courtney: Fine! Everyone give the group a good reason not to vote you out!

 **Nonstop Circlejerk Debate Start!**

Eva: Vote for me and I'll tear you and your soul in half!

Courtney: I'm the only straight-man left now that Noah's gone even though I'm not straight or a man

Brig: I bring the good shit to parties

Geoff: Ill give my bros handjobs #nohomo #bro

Deej: Vote for me and I think I'll cri ;;

Ezekiel: My 69 girlfriends will never forgive me for losing!

Harold: Um,,, pretty please?

Sadie and Katie: We offer no comment. We simply know you will not vote for either of us.

Tyler: I didn't get any screen time yet!

Duncan: I know **none of you** will vote for me

 **Courtney: HOLD UP!**

Courtney: You know what you annoy me get your ugly pentagon shaped head out of here along with your dumb unibrow

Duncan: U...U FUCKING FEMINIST SJW COMMUNIST!

Tyler: What the hell?

Duncan: How dare you,,, My unibrow ain't dumb your dumb! Dumb Dumb DUmb Dumb DUmb!

Courtney: Oh shit it's one of those th-

Duncan: DumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumb

DumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumbDumb

Lindsey: Wow Duncan I didn't know you could glow!

Leshawna: Now this is just stupid!

Duncan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Duncan yells as a golden glow surrounds him, before he turns around, and pops that ass out. Then he does the unthinkable)

Courtney: Oh you gotta be shitting me.

Harold: His bottom levels...they're over nine thousand!]

Dunky Funky: *Shakes that booty*

Eva: _My eyes!_

Courtney: What the hell?

 **Panic talk action Bitches!**

Dunky Funky: *Shakes bottom harder*

Dunky Funky: My unibrow ain't ugly!

Dunky Funky: This is why we need menism

Dunky Funky: Haven't read 1984 have you?

Dunky Funky: I blame tumblr!

Dunky Funky: *Shakes his ass faster*

Dunky Funky: Prove my Unibrow **is ugly poser!**

-sharpie

on-drawn

-with

 **Answer:** Drawn On With Sharpie!

 **Courtney: HOLD THE FUCK UP!** That unibrow isn't even real, you just drew it on with a sharpie!

Eva: She's right, there's no power in his unibrow. My unibrow would crush him in a second.

Olivian: Well time's up vote for who you want dead.

 **(Not really a) Class Trial End!**

* * *

"Okay, after counting the votes everyone but Harold and Duncan are safe." Oshawott said.

"And the one on the chopping block is..."

Harold hugs his pony plushies close in fear. Duncan shakes his ass with a pissed look on his face.

"is..."

Harold shivers. Duncan's ass quakes.

"..."

Olsen finally said it. "Harold..."

He whooped and hollered!

"You received the most votes! Duncan's safe!"

"What! But...But how I thought we all voted for Duncan! Right guys?!"

Everyone looked shocked, it appears many did believe they had voted for Duncan.

"Well the votes don't lie." Alvin said. "Time for your execution!"

"Please my Deviantart friends! I still have so many commissions to do!"

"Harold it's time to say goodbye!"

"No why guys!" Harold cried, tears staining rarity as he clutched her.

"It's punishment time!"

* * *

 **Friendship is Tragic**

Harold is thrown into bronycon, he's surrounded by other mlp fans. He looks around almost calm. But then everyone ran out as six figures came into view.

They were people, dressed in fursuits of the main six characters of friendship is magic. Harold began to sweat as they circled around him. Then the one dressed like Pinkie Pie leaped into action.

They grabbed Harold and hugged him tightly. The others joined in, all hugging him. He looked blue, then purple as it looked like he couldn't breath. His bones could be heard popping under the furry hooves of the strangers.

Then finally... POP!

His head burst into a fountain of blood and confetti. The horse people finally let go of the crushed body of Harold. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie left behind a small cupcake decorated with frosting to look like Harold, almost as if like an apology.

 **Harold: Executed**

* * *

Everyone was shocked.

"But I voted for Duncan, we all did! Didn't we?" Courtney asked, flabbergasted.

Autobot sighed. "I told you, it was an unanimous vote for Harold! Now go back to camp!"

Everyone sighed and left, while Duncan grinned.

* * *

 **Meanwhile: In a spooky dark cave**

Duncan smirked. "It worked."

"Good. Our plans will soon come into fruition."

They both laughed before the stranger began to leave.

 _ **"Toodles~"**_

* * *

AN: OMG Can't wait to see what happens? Join us next time Haha!


	4. Chapter 3: THE HIGHEST REGARDED CHAPTER

AN: Now this chapter was so good I had to split it into two parts! Prepare for More drama and mystery!

* * *

Katie and Sadie sat in front of each other, eyes closed they were silent in concentration.

"You sensed it haven't you?" Katie asked.

"Hard to miss, but something new is coming". Sadie responded.

"This very well might be what kills all of us, we better come up with a game plan for the most successful outcome."

"Yes, though it is to be said, The time will come soon."

"Before the malicious one comes." Katie finished.

"I thought it was more Melancholy than malicious." Sadie said.

"I first thought it was Malleable at first but Malicious is good too."

* * *

Courtney walked around the island, alone with her thoughts. She barely understood her fellow competitors let alone than the game or host. Faced with death, it seemed like no one gave two shits about people dying.

As she continued her walk she thought of the past few deaths. Naruto was honestly weird, though if it wasn't for his clothing she probably wouldn't have remembered him much. Noah was different, she honestly didn't expect him to actually kill someone. Harold was a bit of a geek but dear Jesus he didn't deserve _that_.

She smelled something off and noticed a few puffs of smoke coming from behind a mossy rock. Making her way around it she found the island's resident pothead.

Brig sat by herself, doing her usual pastime. As she smoked she gave a quick glance to signal that she noticed Courtney's presence.

Courtney was solemn and quietly sat next to her. She sat in silence before saying one thing.

"Sorry, for...you know." She faltered. "The trial."

Brig crushed the remains of her joint against the rock, before pulling out more of her stash.

"Honestly, I stopped caring about that eight hours ago." Brig laughed. "Not like I didn't have myself to blame."

"Why do you think that?"

"I sent him to get a bag I left in the shitty cabin we were staying in, he died holding it." She stared off to somewhere. "I didn't even go to get it back, I just wanted to go back and check if he was still there."

Courtney frowned. "You don't really think it's your fault, do you?"

"Maybe, maybe not." She responded. "Weird thing was that the whole thing was cleaned up."

"What do you mean?"

"The body, the blood, the knife, almost everything." She chuckled. "Not even the goddamn hole the knife made in the wall."

Brig coughed into her fist, before pointing her joint at Courtney. "You look stressed, wanna hit?"

Courtney looked at the marijuana before sighing.

"Only because I had to see someone else die today."

"Atta girl." Brig smiled. Lighting up her new joint.

"You know, how much of this stuff do you have?" Courtney asked.

"Enough for a party." Brig thought for a moment. "Heh. Yeah that sounds like a good idea right about now."

"Where did you even get this stuff?"

"Don't tell anyone, but Olivia has an entire farm of this stuff and she hasn't noticed me taking any yet."

"Ah." Courtney replied.

* * *

COurtney replied.

Ezekiel began to look around his cabin, almost in subtle fear.

"C'mon eh." He mumbled to himself. His gold chains clanked against the wooden floor noisily.

The cabin's door creaked open, revealing Geoff in all of his bro-ness.

"Yo bro!" Geoff exclaimed. "Brig and Court are having this killer weed party bro!"

"Oh, um really!?" Ezekiel asked. "Um, SURE!"

Ezekiel shouted, looking visibly shaky as Geoff quirked his Eye-bro.

"You alright bro?"

"Yeah it's just..." Ezekiel faltered. "You ever notice something like footsteps?"

"I don't know anything about any freaky steps bro." Geoff said, scratching his head in thought.

"Well, I guess it's not much."

"Still coming to the party bro?" Geoff asked.

"Yeah, the Zeke man is in the house eh!"

* * *

Leshawna watched as Brig and Sierra putting the weed brownies into the oven.

"Where'd you two even learned to do that?"

"Online :p." Sierra responded shortly after a second of buffering.

"Well I'm not complaining." Leshawna said. "Though I gotta ask where we're heading?"

"The hill that appeared out of nowhere." Brig said. "Apparently places open up after every elimination."

The girls waited several minutes, but Sierra got bored and told siri to speed up time. Through the magic of tech the brownies were done and they made their way to the hill. You could practically see the stars from there and several campers were sitting around on blankets or sheets.

Ezekiel, Geoff, Cody, Gwen, Tyler, Courtney, and Owen decided to come.

"I thought you invited that red-haired chick too?" Leshawna said.

"Yeah but when I invited her she shrieked at me and told me to find the "lord" or something."

Everyone sat around as the brownies were eaten.

Eventually everyone became tired and hungry.

"SO WHO'S GOING FOR THE GRUB?" Owen shouted.

"Tyler you ate the least you get it." Brig said, laying on her stomach and face.

"That's because you guys hogged it all first!" He responded.

"Liek stap complainin poser and get me my count chockula." Gwen angrily said gothickally.

"Fine." Tyler got up to only trip on his shoelaces. He proceeded to tumble down the hill out of sight.

"Well he's gone what do we do now?" Leshawna asked.

"We could be alone with our thoughts." Courtney said.

"Oh geez that's scary." Sierra texted.

 **~Twenty minutes later~**

"Bro I don't think he's coming back." Geoff said.

"Fine I'll go drag him back here." Courtney said, sluggishly getting up.

She made her way down the hill. She noticed something however.

The grass looked stomped on, and following the crushed grass led her to something that made her gasp. She followed that something all the way to it's source. And she found it.

 _ **Tyler, flat as paper, with Xs on his eyes alongside his tongue sticking out. He laid there at the bottom of a hill dead.**_

"Ding Bong Bitch Dongle! Y'all thought this was the last time you'll hear of me?"


	5. Chapter 4:THIS CHAP IS BIG LIKE CODY'S D

Everyone surrounded the flattened remains of Tyler as Oliviax apparated to the spot.

"Okay you bastards Tyler's dead so you gotta investigate and find out what and who killed him before the trial of shame." Ulivia said. "You have and hour, so get your asses in line."

"Bitch we need help we can't do this murder mystery bull by ourselves!" Leshawna said.

"Fine. Here's the fucko-file it'll give you some hints and whatever."

Olliver proceeded to toss a dictionary at Be's head which she thankfully dodged.

 **Fucko-File 1**

 _Victim: Tyler Whatsitface_

 _COD: Squishing_

 _Time of Death: Nighttime_

 _Info: His weed intake levels are at 240%. He was also stabbed by a long object before being squished._

"Well we're fucked! Heather said." Heather said.

"Lol Bye." Ollie said.

 **INVESTIGATION START!**

"I can guess what long object impaled our amigo. : )" Alejandro said.

"What's Sia doing?" Lindsey asked.

Sierra was currently taking selfies with Tyler's corpse with her big(as big as cody's dick) selfie stick which was over 80 ft long.

Everyone decided to investigate and shit.

Courtney made her way around town and decided to get evidence and other shit. Fist she looked over to Sierra who was scanning the body with her phone.

"Where did you get that anyway?" Courtney asked.

"Online." Sierra said. "It looks like the fuckofile was rite lol."

"Kay."

Sierra then teleported, but the fuckofile plopped to the ground even though she held it a minute ago. Though she noticed that something near the body was suspicious. A pattern in the grass that looked like something shaped like a knife was once there, making an impression.

Courtney left and followed the trail of bloody squashed grass. She came to the bottom of another hill where a boulder the size of Noah's humongous head. I was stained with blood. Courtney took note of the boulder and something under it. She pulled it out and it read:

"$4332342353532632235

-?ill Signed ?a"

The name was scratched out and the top part of the white piece of paper was torn off. She also noticed an unopened blue foil square with the word MAGNUM on it.

Courtney found enough and decided to fuck off to somewhere else.

She then went to Tyler's last known location, the kitchen. But before she entered she heard something clattering to the ground. She came in and there was no one inside.

Inside she found a plate full of weed brownies, but 2/3 of them were eaten. On the table was the cookbook "How to make 420 weed brownies in minutes! - By Martha Stuart", it was left in the same exact spot untouched. The oven was still warm, there was a knife on the floor, and a file called "DON'T READ: VIEWER EXCRETION ADVISED" which she hoped was just a typo.

"Well I guess I'll just re-"

"Y'all its time for the trial get your asses here!" Olsian said over the intercom.

"NVM." Courtney said exasperated.

 **INVESTIGATION END!**

* * *

Everybody popped on over to the campfire and sat their asses down, Oliivia couldn't afford to buy portraits for the dead so she just tied balloons to the tree stumps they would've sat at, before taping pictures of the decesead person in it.

"ALright, find who killed Tyler and yall live except for whoever killed Taylor."

 **TRIAL START!**

Be: I still can't believe four of us died in just 23 hours.

Eva: I didn't even get to eat their souls yet!

Courtney: Can we start debating I don't want to die.

Brig: That makes one of you.

Geoff: Harsh bro.

 **Debate Circlejerk Start!**

Lindsey: SO who killed taytay?

Lashawna: Not **me**

Be: Well maybe we should ask **what** killed tyler?

Courtney: Hold up why are there two bolded words I'm only used to one argument to tear down!

Alejandro: Perhaps our **man or woman** of the **hour** was simply **having some fun** but got **carried away**?

Courtney: Bitch what the fuck!

Geoff: **But our bro got squished bro!**

Courtney: OH COME ON

Sadie and Katie: Was there something **on the scene** to murder our companion?

Courtney: **BITCH YOU GUESSED IT!**

Courtney: There was a fucking boulder bigger than Olivia's tiddies you dumbasses!

Brig: Kay but how did Tyler get squished it was probably to heavy to carry!

Courtney: W8 shit! Well how about...

 **THIS STUPID ASS PUZZLE**

llro ti odnw a lilh

Courtney: **Roll it down a hill!**

Dunky Funky: That little bitch probably didn't get out the way.

Gwen: ok we kno what killd him but who did it?

Trent: I sense at least nine more clues!

Lashawna: Was there anything else weird?

Courtney: Hmm?

 **Debate Circlejerk Start!**

Be: Was there anything to point to a suspect?

Deej: Was there something weird about **the body**?

Lashawna: Other than being squished?

Heather: Don't be so stupid! Think about it!

Heather: Was there anything weird about **the crime scene**?

Heather: Or anything **else?**

Courtney: **BITCH YOU GUESSED IT!**

Courtney: The fuckofile says his weed levels were at 240% but anyone at our pot party can confirm that he ate the least brownies!

Sierra: OMG Shes rite!

Courtney: This means one thing! When we sent him to get snacks he was eating weed brownies all by himself!

Gwen: That mutherfuker!

Heather: That's so mean I wish I thought of that!

Alejandro: Though are scrumptious friend seemed to be sneaking off with rather unusual pastries may I ask what does it matter in the long and hard run?

Justin: Can I get my screentime now?

Ezekiel: How come I never get any lines eh?

Cody: Speak for yourself! I have the biggest dick yet I didn't get a sex scene yet!

Alejandro: Sex scene you say :3c

Courtney: We're getting off track, think for a moment! If we ate all the pot brownies then where did these extra things come from?

Lashawna: Maybe he made it himself?

Courtney: Maybe but what if he didn't, think, what if someone who knew how to make weed brownies made some for him?

Cody: **Hold your raging stallions!**

 **Dong Fighting Battle Start!**

Cody: Don't get ahead of yourself! What if Tyler made it himself? Or bought them online?

Courtney: That's bull, we haven't had wifi since forever ago!

Cody: Well unless you can prove that some\one made them...

Cody: Or that he did/n't make them...

Cody: Or maybe that he couldn't have boug/ht it online...

Cody: ...then you have **no argument!**

Courtney: **HOLD UP!**

Courtney: Cody you dumbass there's tons of evidence! First the oven was hot so it was used!

Cody: Gah!

Courtney: Second! The book for making weed brownies was left untouched, so only someone who knew the recipe already could've made them! And only a few people have read that book!

Izzy: ZOMG! Which one of you whippersnappers read from such a cursed book!

Lashawna: I think it was Brig, Cody, and Courtney!

Courtney: And now I have to say I know who did it!

Everyone: You do?!

Courtney: Yep it was...!

 **Choose a Suspect!**

. Be

. Deej

. Gwen

. Geoff

. Lindsey

. Heather

. Duncan

. Trent

. Brig

. Lashawna

. Katie and Sadie

. Ezekiel

. Cody

. Eva

. Owen

. Courtney

. Justin

. Izzy

. Alejandro

. Sierra

Courtney: **Guess who!**

Courtney: I know it was you all along Cody!

Cody: Wh-wha-what-what!

Sierra: OMFG IMMA KMS WAT THE H3CK!

Courtney: You tried so hard to prove someone didn't make those brownies! That's cause you knew how to make them and used them to lure Tyler into a death trap!

Cody: No! What the heck! I didn't do it there's no proof!

Courtney: Yes there is, one piece of evidence to prove your guilt!

Cody: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS YOU-YOU THOT!

 **Panic Talk Action Bitches!**

Cody: Move bitch!

Cody: Get out the way!

Cody: This is weirdly turning me on...

Cody: BEGONE THOT

Cody: But butt butt butt butt!

Cody: You can't smack the Codemeister!

Cody: There's nothing that **links me to Tyler's Death**!

\- Condom

Magnum-Monster

-Dong

 **Answer:** Magnum Dong Monster Condom

Courtney: **Hold The Fuck Up!** I found this Magnum condom under the boulder that killed Tyler!

Cody: NO! But...I...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cody: Okay I met him but I didn't kill him! I can't die I have twenty girlfriends back at home!

Courtney: Wait you didn't kill him? Then tell us what happened!

Cody: Okay...this is how it happened.

 **~Flashback~**

Cody walked into the kitchen seeing Tyler there munching on some weed brownies. "Dude!" He exclaimed.

Tyler hurriedly tried to hide the brownies and swallowed deeply.

"Dude we sent you to get snacks and you're here eating more brownies!" Cody yelled.

"Come on dude! I just wanted some more!" Tyler pleaded.

"I'm telling!"

"What?!" Tyler shouted. "No you can't!"

"And why not?" Cody asked.

"You'll ruin everything! I can't let you know that I was here they'll be back soon!" Tyler hyperventilated and then eyed the kitchen counter. He grasped the large butcher knife and brought it above his head.

"You can't leave alive!"

"AH!"

 **~End Flashback~**

Geoff: Woah, he tried to kill you bro?

Cody: Yeah! You gotta believe me!

Lashawna: Yo court there's any proof?

Courtney: Hmm...I got it! There was an impression in the grass, like something shaped like a knife!

Cody: Tyler chased me outside! He stopped in the middle of the hill but I know he did go outside!

Be: He must've dropped the knife and then someone took it away!

Lindsey: But who was it?

Be: If Cody is telling the truth then it must've been the real killer!

Courtney: SO recap! It seems like Tyler was meeting with someone right?

Cody: Yeah he did mention another person in passing...

Courtney: This person must've pushed the rock to squish Tyler when he stopped chasing Cody!

Gwen: Is there any (Gerard) way we can prove it?

Eva: It had to be someone who knew how to make the weed brownies! Spill the beans or I'll spill your entrails!

Lashawna: Yikes girl.

Courtney: It can't be me or Cody! And I trust Brig! Is there anyone else...wait!

Courtney: One more person who knew how to make weed brownies, and didn't need the book!

 **Choose a Suspect!**

. Be

. Deej

. Gwen

. Geoff

. Lindsey

. Heather

. Duncan

. Trent

. Lashawna

. Katie and Sadie

. Ezekiel

. Eva

. Owen

. Justin

. Izzy

. Alejandro

.  Sierra

Courtney: Sierra. You learned how to make weird brownies...OFF THE INTERNET!

Sierra: Like - o - are we rly doing this?

Courtney: Yes we are!

Sierra: K.

 **Debate Circlejerk Start!**

Brig: So it was really Sierra?

Sierra: -_- No. Totlly **not tru**.

Lashawna: Then who was it?

Dunky Funky: **Not me** VwV

Courtney: Shut up

Sierra: There's totlly nothin pointing to me!

Sierra: Not **thecrimescene** or **Kitchen**

Courtney: **Hold the fuck up!** I found this piece of paper under the rock! I didn't think it was anything but it was!

A: "-?ill Signed ?a"

becomes

B: "Bill - Signed Sierra"!

Sierra: GAh!

Courtney: Got you beat huh?

Sierra: Lol...Lol...LOL...LMFAO...OMGLMAOHAHAHAHAHA- No.

Sadie and Katie: We sense negative waves transmitting from our companion Sierra...

Sierra: You think you can talk to me like that? Honey you got a big storm coming!

(Sierra pockets her phone, and places her hands on her hips. Waves of utter hatred radiate off her.)

Courtney: Oh hell!

Brig: You Court, try thinking of strange things happening? Try to see if Sierra being the culprit answers them?

Sierra: As if you stupid junkie!

Courtney: Hmmm. Think. Think!

Sierra: What? Oh yeah, guess making that brain of yours work after being out of use for decades might be a bit hard huh.

Courtney:...

 **~Flashbacks~**

\- _Sierra then teleported, but the fuckofile plopped to the ground even though she held it a minute ago._

\- _A pattern in the grass that looked like something shaped like a knife was once there, making an impression_.

\- _But before she entered she heard something clattering to the ground._

\- _She came in and there was no one inside._

 _\- there was a knife on the floor_

 **~Flashbacks End~**

Courtney: **Brainblast!** The knife was taken from the crime scene! Sierra was the first one there so it makes sense if she was the one who took it!

Sierra: What...

Courtney: And when I went to the kitchen I heard a clattering noise, like a knife falling to the ground!

Sierra: Haha...stop it...

Courtney: When I went in no one was there...tell me, who would be able to "pop" away out of thin air?

Sierra: ...I said stop it.

Courtney: When you teleported Sierra, you dropped the Fuckofile.

Sierra: ...

Courtney: Like how you dropped the knife!

Sierra: ...

Brig: Aw don't give us the silent treatment now.

Sierra: The weapon.

Courtney: What? The boulder?

Sierra: No, what was used to stab Tyler.

Ezekiel: Does that even still matter eh?

Sierra: There shouldn't be any holes left! If you can't find out what the weapon is you might let the REAL murderer escape!

Courtney: It's useless Sierra we have a full case against you!

Sierra: Not until all possibility is resolved! I won't GIVE UP!

 **Panic Talk Action Bitches!**

Sierra: Unfriended, Unfollowed, Reported.

Sierra: Blocked.

Sierra: #Hopeyoudie

Sierra: NO ME GUSTA!

Sierra: Die ugly.

Sierra: STFU! FU!

Sierra: There's gotta be a weapon! I won't stop until you know **what it is!**

-Stick

Long-Selfie

-Really

 **Answer:** Really Long Selfie Stick

Courtney: **HOLD THE FUCK UP!** Today you took a pic with Tyler's corpse, with a selfie stick miles long!

Sierra: ...And?

Courtney: You used it to stab him!

Sierra: What! No!

Courtney: It's the end! You stabbed Tyler with the selfie stick to keep him in place as the boulder squished him!

Sierra: I... I. You're right...

Trent: The gods have said it! Tis the end!

Ollllllllll: Okay bastards vote for who you think killed Tyler! Pick right you live! Pick wrong and you join Tyler in hell!

 **TRIAL END!**

* * *

"Correct! The one who gloriously rolled over Tyler was our very own Sierra!"

Cody shuddered. "But why."

"Why?" Sierra frowned. "Long story."

"I used the internet as an escape but once the wifi was taken I knew I had to do anything to get it back. So Olivia offered me something. If I killed someone she would bring back the internet! I just...had to kill someone.I kept thining about it and I needed someone who would listen, so I invited... _him_ , to stay and chat."

"You mean our bro Tyler?" Geoff asked.

"Yeah." Sierra grimaced. "I just left for a break, but then...he went after Cody."

Cody paled.

"I followed him and I knew I had to stop him! So I used my selfie stick and..."

 **~Flashback~**

"Stop it Tyler!" Sierra yelled stopping the jock in his tracks.

"I can't he might've heard! He'll tell everyone!"

"You can't kill him!" Sierra pleaded.

"Sorry." Tyler turned around before letting out a short yell.

In Sierra's hands was the selfie stick, but the part that held the phone was broken off. It stretched out, meeting Tyler's torso. He collapsed to his knees, Sierra looked to the side and finally noticed the giant fucking boulder. In desperation she pushed it, it rolled down the hill until...

SPLAT!

 **~Flashback End~**

"OMG! DX" Izzy said.

"Don't steal my gag you bitch."

"Sierra, do you know what this is?" Courtney asked, holding up the folder she found.

"Oh yeah that's-"

"Hold up! We have an execution to get to!" Ollldlsaff said.

Sierra sighed. She took out her phone and made one final message.

"Goodbye. #RIP"

Before small bears came in to drag her away, making her accidently drop her phone.

"It's PUNISHMENT TIME BITCHES!"

* * *

 **Texting while Dying  
** (Warning for Fire related death) **  
**

Sierra was in a classroom, her legs were strapped to a desk. Olivia gave her the new IPhone69 and Sierra went straight to texting.

She looked confused, like she lost control of her body. She kept texting and texting. She gave a pained expression as her thumbs became red and swollen. Then cracking could be hear as her thumbs snapped of like stale breadsticks.

But it didn't stop, she then began to take selfies. As the stubs of what remained of her thumbs pressed the camera's button a blinding flash was released. The flash came back again and again as the camera was used to take selfies.

The flashes began to make Sierra sweat, almost as if radiating heat. Then the unthinkable happened. Her hair caught on fire.

She screamed but she couldn't stop taking selfies. The flashes kept coming as her body was engulfed. The selfies only stopped when the fire reached her phone, melting it. Nothing but a black sludge remained in the desk.

Olivia took a picture of it on Instagram and added a caption: "#Nofilter"

 **Sierra: Executed**

* * *

Everyone was aghast, solemn at losing another. Courtney now knew. Things were going to get serious.

As everyone left someone cloaked in shadows snuck back to the campfire. They looked over to the ground and found Sierra's phone, now with a cracked screen. They scooped it up and then dashed to a secret cave. They placed the phone on a platform, next to other items. Such as Naruto's headband, Tyler's sweatband, Harold's Rarity plushie, and one of Noah's books. They smiled before leaving the cave.

* * *

 **Dead:** Naruto,  Noah, Harold, Tyler, and Sierra

(AN:)Whos gonna die next? Find out next time on td: out of the woods!


	6. CHapter 5: El Capitulo mas Sexy

(AN) **Dear freshheartsgays. Fuck you and your cartoon coconut husband and his despair. Fuck both of you now I have to write this story!1! I cant believe I was galpals with a POSER like YOU! AND FUCK yOUR OC KIDS!  
\- xxx2het2gayxxx**

* * *

After the shocking revelation of Sierra murdering Tyler, the bitches we know as the total drama cast began to do some fuck shit like they're in a dating simulator.

Courtney bored with life decided to walk along the wakawaka beach until she tripped over something. She swore and the picked herself up to give whatever she tripped over a good mouthing off to.

She was surprised to steel hatch hidden in the sand. She opened it up and looked into the dark abyss hidden under the beach. Her curiousness got the better of her so she decided to explore.

Once she hopped in the lid closed behind her, drenching everything into darkness. Then the lights came on.

The lights revealed a teenage girl wearing a cat fursuit.

* * *

Izzy continued her morning jog but paused when she heard muffled screaming, almost as if it came from beneath the beach's sandy ground. She shrugged it off and made her way down the island listening to kidzbop 2018.

* * *

Courtney took some breaths in to regain her composure, she straightened up and looked at the teenage catgirl who looked confused.

"Geez I didn't know that someone could scream that loud!" ? said.

"Bitch who are you!" Courtney politely asked.

"I'm Kitty, Kitty the Sailorcat." Kitty answered.

"What the hell are you doing under the island?"

"I have come to give you something to aid your adventure." Kitty said. "Behold, the Dragon's knut."

Kitty held out her hand to show Court a golden walnut the size of softball.

"ew." Court said intellectually.

"You hold power that you don't know yet!" Kitty said hurriedly. "There are more Dragon Knuts hidden on the island, find them all the gifted six who will aid you in your quest."

"I still have no clue what you're talking." Courtney said.

"Sigh. Just find these knuts or you'll die, one knut should be enough to unlock you inner power."

Courtney went "what the hell!" and took the knut into her invisible pocket.

"Now. You must leave this hole or face consequences."

Courtney asked. "Like what?"

"Forced Heterosexual romances."

Courtney BAMFed the fuck outta there.

* * *

Everyone was called to the mess hall where Ollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllivia was.

Behind Ohliviah was several portraits of the deceased campers with the words *EPIC FAIL* written over their faces. SHe began the morning announcement.

"So like, your new challenge is to face your fears." she said. Everyone gave her weird looks.

"Like if Tyler was alive he would have to eat chicken, or if Sierra was alive she'd have to watch me delete her twitter, or if Harold was alive he would have to listen to a feminist critique of My little Pony." The hostess went on.

"So how do we lose?" Noah's ghost asked.

"If you face your fear you earn a point for your team if your don't face it no point for you!" She said. "Now get your asses outside."

And everyone got their asses outside.

0-0-0-0-0

Be was the first one, she was given a box full of gummy worms. She had to eat all the worms.

She ate all the worms and got one point.

0-0-0-0-0

Deej was brought face to face with his Mama, his task was to say "no" to his mama. He decided he didn't want to die so opted out.

0-0-0-0-0

Gwen was strapped to a salon chair and had to sit still until a prep prepified her. She ran off holding up three middle fingers.

0-0-0-0-0

Geoff had to watch as Olllllsicia poured an entire keg of beer into the soil, wasting it all. He failed when he fell to his knees to start licking it up.

0-0-0-0-0

Lindsey had to sit still with her dumb fear of dumb bad haircuts. She had to keep it on for 324134714286422664 hours.

Heather needed to give money to orphans but called one them "Annie" so the orphans proceeded to kick her ass.

Lindsey accomplished her challenge though.

0-0-0-0-0

Duncan had to listen to an entire Kidzbop album without getting his groove on. Though it caused him physical pain not to drop it like it's hot he surpassed it. Though he later ran off to meet with a bucktoothed shadowy stranger in a cave for whatever reason.

0-0-0-0-0

Trent was tasked with acting In-character, he failed in two seconds.

0-0-0-0-0

Brig managed to complete her challenge, watching an entire Documentary made by PETA. But she was later chased by White Vegans who saw her eat a fly by accident. They chased her into the woods until she coughed it up. Literally.

0-0-0-0-0

Leshawna got a point too because she watched twenty "Top 10 Dank Meme Triggered Keks of all time" in a row and only suffered minor mental strain from boredom.

Katie and Sadie had to separate for 4 minutes, they immediately refused for unknown reasons.

0-0-0-0-0

Ezekiel and Cody had to share a challenge, where they had to wait in the background while irrelevant interns got to stand in the spotlight. Cody managed to stay in the back, only crying once. Ezekiel failed when he ran in to stop an intern from drinking some of his Pepsi.

0-0-0-0-0

The last members of the Killer Gophers shared a challenge where Courtney and Eva had to eat a buffet of Green jello and yellow peeps marshmallows. Both girls were anxious but did it after realizing they could share and eat more than half of the others cursed food. They scored points for their team.

0-0-0-0-0

Owen and Izzy both failed their challenges of riding an airplane while babysitting 2 year olds.

"Well that's all of you and most of you sucked." The hostess said.

"What about us?" Justin and Alejandro asked.

"Shit I forgot about you fuckers."

"I don't even think I was put in any team." ALejandro pointed out.

"Your a killer gopher alright, no the final challenge is between you two since the two teams are tied." Oxxxia said. "Whoever faces their fear first or doesn't refuse to do their challenge wins for their team."

Alejandro and Justin sat in two opposite chairs.

"Okay, Justin if you can have a tarantula place on your forehead without running you win! Alejandro all you have to do is talk to me about your feelings and proble-"

"I refuse." Alejandro said.

"Why?" Jolivia asked astonished.

"I have anxiety bicth."

"Okay I guess Justin and the screaming bass win! The killer gophers suck lol."

The Killer Gophers either looked like they were in shame or were ready to pass out.

* * *

Okay at the ugly ass island's campfire place everyone gathered to see who the next person who's leaving via bodybag will be next. Ollovio was holding several large Axes.

"Alright I couldn't get any marshmallows so if you're safe I'll throw an axe to your head."

 **Nutshack Cam**

"Holy shit we're actually using the coffesional?" - Brig

*Drops his junk in the trunk onto a picture of Courtney reapeatably* - Duncan

"I vote for Ezekiel to win!" - Ezekiel said putting in a vote for himself

 **Nutshack Cam End**

"Alright bastards, Brig, Deej, Duncan, Ezekiel, Eva, Ezekiel, Geoff, Katie, Ezekiel, and Sadie are safe." Oxivia said nearly decapitating every camper she named by throwing an axe near their heads.

"Courtney and Alejandro, you both tied lol."

"What!" They both said, surprised.

"Court someone gave you a lot of votes but Justin also got a lot of votes, so we need a tiebreaker!"

* * *

Courtney and Alejandro were in two courtroom stands, facing eachother. Oolivia looked at both contestants in anticipation.

"Alright you both bastards gotta due one of your panic talk thingies and whoever loses it is eliminated!"

Courtney and Alejandro: "wh-"

 **PANIC TALK ACTION ULTRA BEEOTCHES!**

Alejandro: I'm too sexy for my shirt...

Alejandro: Wanna 89?

Alejandro: Hey little mama lemme whisper in ya ear

Alejandro: Bow chicka bow wow!

Alejandro: *Bounces pecs to the rhythm of Running in the 90s*

Alejandro: Touch my body!

Alejandro: I have depression,

Courtney: I don't like you

Alejandro: You want don't you Courtney E(U 8

Alejandro: I hope someone doesn't come around to gobble me up ;)

Alejandro: *Does the sexy hip sway but facing the wrong way*

Alejandro: *Tears off shirt to reveal 42 abs*

Alejandro: No one can resist my charm!

\- I'm

Bitch-Gay

-Fucking

 **Answer:** Bitch I'm Fucking Gay!

Courtney: HOLD THE FUCK UP!

"Wh-wh-what! No that's impossible..."

"And Courtney wins it!" Olivia said after killing whoever had the bright idea to make misspelling her name a running gag.

"Sigh." Courtney sighed. She knew it would come to this but you get used to it after the third time.

"No! You can't do this to me! I'm an important character! Kill Justin off instead!" Alejandro pleaded sexily.

"Hey!" Justin said less sexily.

"Sorry! Guess another guy bites it!" Olivia said. "I've prepared a very special punishment for a resident pervert Ex-Heartthrob Alejandro!"

"Guess poopoo face just didn't make the cut!" Heather said meanly.

"Please I beg you I'll give you,,,,ummmmmmmm"

"Ittttttt's..."

"Money?! Free wifi?! Hoes?!"

"Punishment..."

"Noooooo! I was an important character!"

"Not really you were forgotten even by the author..." Brig said honestly.

"SHut up bruja!"

"Time Bitcheeeeeeez!"

"Mierda." Alejandro said for the last time.

Small Bears rushed over to Alejandro and dragged him away.

* * *

 **Love is some Mierda Estupida**

Alejandro dropped onto a stage similar to those used in broadway shows, he was dressed in a frilly European outfit. Sappy romantic music on a guitar played as a tower rose up from the ground, at the window of the tower was of all people, Heather.

Heather was dressed in a pink princess outfit and looked down at Alejandro. Alejandro was surprised as he kneeled down, almost as if he lost control of his body. As soon as he kneeled, Heather fell out of the window, with rope tied around her waist.

She fell straight into Alejandro's arms, the rope was pulled but that wasn't what caught Alejandro's attention. Instead, once she landed onto Alejandro's arms her head rolled off. "Heather" was just a stack of bombs tied into a dress and wearing a wig. Before Alejandro could run a creaking was heard.

He looked up and a giant vat above him could be seen tipping over, as a rope connected to it was pulled. It flipped upside down, letting a vat full of dark brown liquid fall onto Alejandro. When the vat flipped back into place the brown liquid dried in a second freezing Alejandro and the bombs in lace. A muffled ticking was heard before...BOOM!

Chunks of brown pieces flew, showering the contestants who were seated in front of the stage. Owen tasted a bit that flew into his mouth.

"HEY CHOCOLATE!"

* * *

Everyone was teleported back to the camp shaken up after another fever nightmare of an execution.

"Well, see you fuckers tomorrow!" Olivia said before vanishing.\

"Shit man..." Brig said.

They all went to bed, prepared for the worst tomorrow.

* * *

 **Dead:** Naruto,  Noah, Harold, Tyler, Sierra, and Alejandro.

(AN) **FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU FRESHHEARTSGAYS YOU TRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITOR!**


End file.
